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A River Runs Through It

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Talking to young children about sex

Posted by River Huston on Thu, Sep 17, 2009 @ 06:35 AM
  
  
  
  
  

The other day I was speaking to a friend and told her I was answering question on sex and she said, I wish you could answer my son's questions on sex." I asked her old he was and she said, " Five, do you think that is too early?"

I said no, it needs to be age appropriate but I think as soon as children ask questions they should get the straight forward answers. no stork, or wee wee. It's about correct anatomy.

From all the questions I get from college age students I really think if we started earlier, there would be better communication in the family about sex, both the kids and the parents would become better educated and have a healthier outlook on sexuality. It can greatly reduce anxiety about sex and false information. (As long as the parents aren't giving false information),

I am stunned at how much shame is attached with sex education. One of the things I do in my college forums is ask the students to tell us what their parents told them about sex. From masturbation to intercourse so many are  told just don't do it or all the consequences of doing it or they say nothing at all. My mother said, "Don't ever let the boys touch your breasts." This has not been helpful, ever.  At 12 I still did not understand that a penis could go into a vagina.

I have decided I am going to create a program where parents can learn how to talk to their kids, get comfortable around their own sexuality and understand what is appropriate at what age and what is appropriate for their individual child. I have a lot of ideas on how I am going to do this and will keep you posted.

if you are interested in this kind of program, let me know. Would you go to your local middle school or hospital if this kind of program was offered?  Would you listen online to a podcast? Download an e-book? What are your questions about talking to your children about sex? Any input is appreciated!

In the next post I will give an outline of what a program for talking to 5-8 year old children would look like.

Thanks!

River


 

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COMMENTS

I completely agree and I'd be very interested to hear about the response that you get. I would hope that Frenchtown Elementary would be open to such a program. I got Sara at 7 years old and I was honest with her about all her questions. We drew pictures and she also made clay figures with impossibly large "assets." I laughed right along with her. It certainly helped that she had not experienced inappropriate sexual behavior from adults. Adults who wish to use their children as objects of their own repressed sexuality will certainly be threatened by an open forum. 
Let me know how I can be supportive.

posted @ Thursday, September 17, 2009 7:48 AM by Adrienne


Both great posts! Completely agree that kids are better off with less stork stories and earlier facts about human biology. What age is appropriate? I'd say the age they ask, when questions start bubbling like hot lava. I'm there now with my 9 year old daughter. Love the clay figure activity! I very much doubt a public elementary school would go for frank sex talk. We've paid enough school tax dollars in recent years for me to want to open another Can o' Legal Worms.

posted @ Thursday, September 17, 2009 9:52 AM by Sandy


I was thinking of doing the presentation at a school but not having them pay for it. I know that would be too controversial but maybe I would do it at a community center or health center and people could sign up and pay to attend.

posted @ Thursday, September 17, 2009 7:01 PM by River Huston


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