Advice on losing your virginity and other text messages from Ohio.

Here are the text messages from Ohio. The answers will be available in an e-book called SEXED in March. In the meantime I will answer  a question each day (sometimes one a week depends on travel!). If you need an urgent answer send me an e-mail with you question.

Here is one I received yesterday. The rest of test messages are below.

My girlfriend is a virgin and I was wondering what was the best way/easiest way for her to enjoy it.

I can give you some suggestions but it is also important to talk with your girlfriend about how she feels about doing any of them.
I am glad you are asking this question because out of all the people she will ever sleep with you you will probably be the most memorable, good or bad. No pressure!

Anyway the best thing to do is be certain she really wants to do this and once that certainty is established. You might want to start slow not go all the way the first time. You can perform oral sex, use you fingers with lubricant to start to stretch hymen. For some women the hymen may have already been broken through a number of means such as using a tampon, hand to genital contact, ext. If the hymen is already broken then it may be a little easer. For each person it is different. For some it is a painful experience and for other not so much. But most of the time both partners are feeling anxious. So try to do something to relax, give her a full body massage, take a bath together, get comfortable being naked with one another. Let her know how much you care and how beautiful she is especially her body. Many women are very self conscious about being naked.

As you do things for her try to talk with her about what feels good. If she is not too responsive to this because she is embarrassed to talk about sex then try to read her physical cues. Actual intercourse is the last part of the program. Once you get to that point go slow, use lubricant and stay present. Her vagina will probably be very tight so just put the tip in first, and go slow from there (unless she requests differently).

Afterwards there might be some emotions. Just stay present. If there are tears, don't press her to talk about it just hold her, tell her you are there for her. I am not saying this will happen but for many women it is really big moment in their life and it can cause an emotional release.

If she is uncertain about how she might be feel physically after let her know that sometimes there is burning and tenderness especially when she urinates. This is totally normal. There might be some blood and that is also normal.

Good Luck

River

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