Sex, Cellulite & Large Farm Equipment: One Girls Guide To Living & Dying

​Scathing, scandalous, notorious, irresistible and irreverent, comedian, author, poet & girl with a big mouth, River Huston takes you on a journey of survival and triumph. From bike messenger to armed robbery and few marraiges in between, River will make you cry, and then laugh,  then cry again. Then laugh.

“Huston is more than a poet, lecturer and provocateur, she is a comedian and an entertainer!”  
-Doug Keating, Philadelphia Inquirer 

“River Huston puts comedic, dramatic eye on sex, weight and love.” 
-Tammy Poglino, The Courier Post.

“Huston is a fantastic performer and my gaze never strayed from her larger than life presence on stage.”
-Richard Hinijosa, NYtheater.com. 

WHAT THE AUDIENCE HAD TO SAY

-"My name is Yvette Hershey and I was at your session last night at Point Park University.  I just wanted to commend you on the awesome job you did.  You are so charismatic and captivating to watch and listen to and your story resonates within everyone.  I laughed and wanted to cry all at the same time.  You are such an amazingly strong woman and an inspiration to all but I'm sure you know this already. :)  I especially loved the poem your read that you read at your poetry award ceremony.  Thank you so much for the wonderful evening you gave us and your inspiring words.  You are a truely extraordinary individual". 

-“Amazing show tonight at Del Val College!!! I LOVE every bit of it - especially the spoken piece about 'Ray', and the last poem... (What's the title of your last poem?). I felt my heart going through a roller coaster ride when I was listening to your poems, absolutely beautiful.”

​-“My BF and I saw you at The Jazz Gallery last night. You are absolutely fabulous! We so enjoyed your performance! You made me blush, laugh, giggle and cry all within seconds apart.Thank you sooooooooooo much for sharing!”

*available for fundraisers, weddings and bar mitzvahs

How To Survive A Pandemic

​In this performance River finds humor in  dark times. Her perspective comes from having survived the AIDS pandemic for 30 years. She sees herself as an infectious disease specialist and talks about how much easier it is to get a mask on than a condom, but wait theres more! From an Island in the Caribbean to Mexico to Napa and finally landing in Santa Monica, River compares all her Tinder experiences from each location, as well as how she broke her pussy, then fixed it.
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*Not for the easily offended.